Med team to Yogyakarta

I woke up this morning and found an sms from Red Cross asking if I am available for a mission. Of coz I am! My passport is always on stand-by. But I am still trying to contact my manager. Wish the earthquake had happened on a weekday instead. Oh well....

I think the team will be assisting in local hospitals because according to the news, these hospitals are requesting help as they don't have enough manpower. Well, let see...

Monday 29/05/06:
Sadly, I was not selected for the 2nd med team....sigh....buat penat je jahit sleeve till 4am this morning!!!!

I passed!

I passed my Standard First Aid exam!!!!
(eh...got people fail okay...)

I am impressed with the way I demonstrated CPR and answered the examiner's question. Even my class trainer praised me. Ok la..now can go around saving people. Anyone needs first aid??? Haha...

Btw, me mum is okay with the idea of me becoming a nurse but not dad...he still can't accept that I want to go to a lower paying job...sigh

Me and Nursing : My reply to comments

Mmm..due to good respond to my previous blog, I decided to do the reply to the comments received here. Else the comments page will become very long sey :) but keep it coming... ;)

Rhaudhah a.k.a Miss Cutie Pie:
Kak Mis:
** DO NOT INFORM ANYONE ABOUT ME AND NURSING!!! **
One thing about me is, I am not one to act on impulse. At least not usually. I normally will think and think and think before I decide to do something. Whatever I want to do, I will first consider the implication on my family. This is just how I am wired. But I am quite undecisive thus I turn to Allah for help through Istikharah prayer. So far it works..InsyaAllah
The thought of switching to Nursing is not a recent thing. I started thinking about it for more than 2 years already. During that time, I read what I could find on the career and the study programme, went to NYP's career seminar on the accelerated programme, went to SGH's open house (which was really good coz there was an extremely senior Nurse who told us of the realities of the job and what it really takes to be a good nurse. Nursing is not for everyone. I totally agree on this) and recently interviewed a friend of mind who has been in nursing for about 7years. All this I did on my own meaning I was not following a friend or anything. In addition, during all those times that Granny was hospitalised I was with her either during the day or at night(minimum 8hrs each time) so I see what nurses do during their shifts. I think I have obtained what information I need. Based on that, I am still interested in nursing. My only concern is the pay and my age. The pay is the reason why I put nursing on hold until now. Age..Well, to become higher than a staff nurse takes a long time. And I am not one to remain in a position for too long. I want to climb the career ladder. So time is crucial. And the dilemma I am having now is made complicated by the fact that I have already signed with another IT company. I did that when I missed the deadline for submission to the nursing course...due to my chicken littles. Sekali, 2 weeks ago I accidentally saw an advert by WDA stating that there is another round of submission and the deadline is 1 week later! That's when I became...like...oh no!!

Ely:
Hey, I am glad you wrote. Thanks for visiting me humble blog and giving me your comment...heeeeh *sengeh*
Wow, our family situation is similar. Yes, I am thankful that I still have my grandparents. I dare not say that I am taking care of them well. I do what I can la. Hopefully it is good enough for them. Insyaallah. Actually, as I read your comment, I realise that we are quite similar too. If I read correctly, you mentioned that you can't bring yourself to work just for money and you are one who wants to go far in a company. Well, I am exactly like that too. I have been working in my current place for close to 7years. During that time, there were times when I was made to do work which I was not interested in. But I thought i'll just do it for the sake of money. After 6 months, I realised I just couldn't do it. haha..I actually got depressed and unmotivated. Had to drag myself to work. But I had to finish the project so I did it for abt a year. I informed my manager about this but the idiot ignored me. So eventually, after the project, I spoke to the director of the department and HR. And they gave me what I wanted! That made me stay in the company. But recently there was a change of management. The career ladder...and the whole place la.. got screwed up. I can't bring myself to work for this mngt so I went to look for another job. There are collegues of mine who can work for money. They just keep a low profile and become yes-men. Its amazing to me. I guess they have their reasons la. But for me, I can't and looks like you can't too.
You mentioned that "we can only pursue our interests when we are financially so stable or has no other commitments to tie us down". I share that sentiment to a certain extent. But what is meant by financially "SO" stable? As you start earning more, your standard of living also increase and you'll never feel like you have enough. Unless you manage to earn millions. And then you get married and have children. To wait for no commitments will be like when? Amongst my collegues and ex-collegues I have started hearing people lamenting that they are approaching their 40s and they become concern about their employment. Reality is, there are many foreign engrs who are paid less than locals. So when you reach 40, theoretically, you are expensive. You are expensive because there is an abundant of "cheaper alternatives". And then what do you want to do? Start on your area of interest? You'll have to start from scratch and you may not have the level of drive you once thought you have. No doubt that if one is successful in one's career..which is possible...then one probably will not face such uncertainties.
I think the challenge is: To find a way to do what we like and still be able to be financially healthy? Is it not possible to do both? If I go into nursing, overseas job is something I must consider. But I won't be doing it anytime soon. I can't even if I want to. It takes 5 years to finish diploma and the bond. After that maybe I'll do a degree programme then serve another round of bond. Only after all these can I think about overseas posting. By that time, I'll be fortyyyyyy!!!! :(

By the way, tell me what kind of job you looking for. Maybe I can help. Give me your email address. Mine is: one_global_village@yahoo.com.sg

What should I do?

I am still undecided. Yet tomorrow is the last day for application to Nursing course that starts in July. It is strange that when I had nothing to choose, I wish I had options and now that I have options, I seem scared to choose what I think I really want. Why is that? I think it boils down to a lack of faith...and a lack of trust in myself. What are my fears? Number 1 fear is money, cos nursing in S'pore is not considered a professional job and thus nurses are not a highly paid. And the purpose of money is more for my family then for myself. I'm a cheapo so no worry there. But I am paying for Nenek's medical expenses which is quite high ...with a nurses' pay, can I still do so? Can I do the same for Atok's? A way around this is to work overseas. Nursing is considered professional in UK and US and even in the Middle East. I was thinking...I'll do the 2-yr accelerated Diploma programme in NYP then serve the necessary 3-yr bond then head overseas for a year or 2...then come back, work in a local hospital for a few years then head back overseas again...something like that. But I'l miss my family and I don't know if Atok can accept me being away from home for so long. He is so attached to me. And I can't bear to be away from him for so long either. I'll miss him so much.
I have dreamt of volunteering overseas,helping people in the way World Vision does ever since I saw World Vision's advert for donation on TV in Australia. And I do find myself working to carve a path for myself that leads to that..but its not working because I don't have the right skills. I don't have logistics nor medical skills. There is only so much that I can contribute as a first aider :(
It was only recently that Red Cross involved me in their overseas missions..the first being to Meulaboh to assist in a free clinic and hopefully my second will be to Java to help the victims of Mt Merapi eruption...which I hope will not happen before next weekend (actually I hope it does not happen untill all villagers in the area have been evacuated). I think what attracts me to this is the idea of having an adventure and helping people at the same time. I want to live the kind of life in which I'll have stories to tell...not gossip..but stories of adventure and stories of life people at different places lead...their realities. I want to lead a purposeful like. I want my life to mean something. Life in S'pore is so routine, so protected. We are like ants in their hill. We go to work everyday with only material wealth as our objective. And in the workplace, its every woman/man for her/himself. Politics, backstabbing and selfishness are rife. I can't say I am not guilty of it. When I started working, I told myself to never do those things but I unconsciously do. The work environment, the competition amongst collegues for a share of a really small pie..it moulds you to be a horrible person. The process takes time, but it happens without one even realising it... until something happens and one takes a step back and reflect. Then one realises that one has become "one of them"...and one hates it.
I need to make a decision. And I need to make it by the end of today.
May Allah grant what is best for me and my family..for only Allah knows.
Istikharah prayer for me to do today..and then decision